[Ecc 4:7-12] Two Are Better Than One (Lim)

John C Lim

Ecclesiastes 4: 7-12

 

⁷ Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

 ⁸ There was a man all alone;
       he had neither son nor brother.
       There was no end to his toil,
       yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
       "For whom am I toiling," he asked,
       "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
       This too is meaningless—
       a miserable business!

 ⁹ Two are better than one,
       because they have a good return for their work:

 ¹⁰ If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls
       and has no one to help him up!

 ¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
       But how can one keep warm alone?

 ¹² Though one may be overpowered,
       two can defend themselves.
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

                The institution of marriage began with Adam and Eve when God created them.  First, Adam was created and then while he slept, God took one of his ribs and formed Eve.  God presented Eve to Adam as a helpmate.  Thus began the union of man and woman and the institution of marriage.  We cannot deny we are social beings.  We do not live separately from the rest of the population.  We live in villages, towns, and cities.  No matter where we go, we will encounter a community of people whether it is a small community or large community.  From the beginning of time, we had to stick together to stay alive and to rely on one another for various support.  We need one another to live in this world. 

               

                Marriage is perhaps single most important foundation of any society or community.  Everything starts with man and woman.  They form a smallest unit of community.  From the union of man and woman, children come and family is formed.  Families make up community and communities make up our society.  And Solomon now turns his attention to this very important concept of family or lack thereof in verses 7-8.

Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother.  There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.  "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"  This too is meaningless—a miserable business!

                As his argument, he introduces the solitary man.  In Solomon’s perspective, he sees this man all alone as something meaningless under the sun.  Let’s look at this verse 8.

               

               There was this man all alone.  Loneliness is one of the major contributing factors for those who contemplate suicide.  Unbearable sense of loneliness pushes many over the edge and they kill themselves to alleviate pain and suffering that come from being lonely.  This individual has no support network of family and friends.  When difficult circumstances overwhelm him, he has no one to turn to.  Life is something to be shared with others, especially with those who are closest to us, such as our spouses and our children.    

               

                What better way is there to share this precious gift of life with none other than your own wife or your own husband?  God created us with that inherent need to share with others our sorrows and our joys.  We need people who care about us in our life to find fulfillment and comfort. 

               

                Instead in verse 8, we see the life of this man who is all alone.  So let’s look how this man views his life.  Apparently, he has neither son nor brother.  We may even go so far as to say it is very likely he doesn’t have a wife.  He seems to be a man who works diligently as the Bible says there was no end to his toil.  And because he works hard all his life, he has become wealthy as the Bible says his eyes were not content with his wealth. 

               

                So, we can conclude that his man worked hard and as a result achieved some measure of success.  With what he accomplished and achieved, we also know that he was not content.  We need to think about this.  Wealth does not automatically result in contentment.  We have seen numerous cases where those who won huge sums of money would eventually end up with broken marriages and broken family relationships.  Wealth at times can be more of a curse than blessing.  How often have we seen children of wealthy parents end up fighting bitterly for inheritance after their parents pass away! 

               

                And we see this rich man asking thoughtful questions as he reflects about his life thus far.  For whom is he toiling?  And he asks why he is depriving himself of enjoyment?  Do we have any satisfying answer for him?  Could we possibly comfort and encourage him as he ponders about what this all means for him?  As he struggles to find meaning with his toil and wealth that he has accumulated over the years, what is the significance of all this when he cannot share this with anyone? 

               

                Here is a great insight into inner soul of a man.  We were created with the inherent need for relationship.  This man though he seems to have everything, he does not have perhaps the most important relationship in his life.  Of course the most important relationship is our personal relationship with God.  We were not created in vacuum and therefore we have this longing to be in a relationship.  There is no greater source of assurance and security than the one we have with God through Jesus Christ.  No matter how much we achieve and accomplish in life, without Christ in our heart, we will never find true contentment but temporary satisfaction from our success. 

 

                Also, we see from this man’s lament that he longs for human relationship that brings fulfilling happiness.  Since he is alone, he doesn’t have a family.  He doesn’t have a helpmate with whom he can share his life with.  Perhaps other than our relationship with God, next most significant relationship we can have on this earth is one between husband and wife.  There is no greater relationship among humans than the one ordained by God Himself from the days of Creation in sacred marriage between man and woman. 

               

                Wealth is not assured for everyone here on earth but happiness and joy can be realized between husband and wife no matter what their financial situation is.  As we can see from this man’s life, he has everything else except his own family.  And because he doesn’t have a family, he lacks that crucial element in life that brings such comfort and joy.  This is why this man is perhaps miserable and wonders aloud why he is depriving himself of enjoyment. 

               

                We have a need or want to share our lives with someone who loves us.  This can be possible in the institution of marriage.  When we find someone that we want to share rest of our lives with, we have found most important treasure here on earth.  Enjoyment in life does not come from things but meaningful relationships especially from a loving relationship between husband and wife in the institution of marriage and family.  No matter how hard life gets, when we have a loving family from God, we can draw strength from one another and we can overcome life’s many obstacles.

               

                Solomon remarks how this is meaningless and is miserable business.  Let’s look at what Solomon says next as he now shares his insight about family in verses 9-12.  Look at verse 9.

      
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

            Solomon uses a few words but describes the unique relationship of a man and woman.  He is here describing a couple.  In every area of our life, we understand the importance of partnership.  From a smallest unit of partnership that starts between a man and a woman to large corporations that join forces to their advantage, we can see the benefits of this partnership.  When we live alone, we cannot experience the special blessing that is only available through the institution of marriage.  Two separate individuals can lead two separate lives and perhaps find some happiness but they will never be able to enjoy the blessings of a union ordained by God.  Jesus Christ performed His first miracle of turning water into wine at a wedding in Cana. God gives his blessing in marriage between man and woman. 

            When two people work together to accomplish a goal, their combined effort produces good results.  It is a known fact that two people can accomplish more than two separate individuals working individually.  This is why we stress teamwork from young age so our children understand and value working together with other people.  When we combine our efforts, we can achieve greater things not possible on our own.  Look at verse 10 as Solomon continues with benefits of working together. 

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

            This is another beautiful picture of a marriage at its best.  There are times when we falter and find ourselves on the ground struggling to get back up.  Our caring spouse comes to our rescue and helps us up with words of comfort and encouragement when we are feeling down and out.  Our partner who promised to be with us through good times and bad times comes alongside us and helps us up when we fall down.  When we are at our lowest, we look up to God for help and God answers our prayers through the hand of our spouse who reaches out and helps us up.  Our spouse is God’s greatest gift to us next to the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.  When we ask ourselves how we know that God loves us, we would first think of Jesus who died on the cross and we would then think of our life’s helpmate who is right beside us.  In our darkest time of distress and sorrow, we look at our spouse and know that everything will come to pass and that we will overcome everything because we have our best friend who will see us through together.    

            But it is a sad picture when we don’t have anyone to help us up when we fall.  Solomon pities the man who falls and has no one to help.  Being alone in this world can be really challenging especially when we are faced with life’s difficulties.  Somehow, when we share our burdens and sorrows, it seems we can get through our hardships quicker and easier.  We can remember those times when we were little kids and fell down while playing.  We would cry out and our Mom would rush over to us with soothing words and help us up.  Though we are now all grown up, when we fall in this life, we still cry out seeking someone to come and help us up.  We find greatest comfort and solace when our life’s partner comes to us in our time of need and assures us that all will be alright.  Look at verse 11 where Solomon continues to expand this idea. 

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

            This shows the intimate relationship between husband and wife.  Life is too short to live alone.  Although this verse seems appropriate for winter time in cold climate, there is also winter time in our life as well.  When things are not going well for us and we feel really dejected because of all the hardships, we need more than ever our helpmate to warm our spirit.  Even when the world seems to be against us, we draw such strength and comfort from our family when our helpmate stands with us and reminds us that we’ll get through together.  Indeed in our life, we will face many challenges and trying times.  In times like this, we find warmth and comfort from our life’s partner.  Even in long and arduous journeys through treacherous paths of life, a unit of two tends to do far better than an individual.  Having someone to talk to and to care for makes all the difference in life.  Finally Solomon concludes in verse 12 reiterating the importance of having a partner. 

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

            I remember hearing a story from a veteran who survived severe burns to his body.  During Vietnam War, he was severely burned and was transported to the burn treatment center in the states.  There were few others with similar fate in the same ward.  As they were recovering, their spouses came to visit them on a momentous day.  They were all unrecognizable from their burns having been so disfigured.  One recovering victim was anxiously waiting for a visit from his wife.  She came and saw the horrific state of her husband.  She took off her ring and threw it down and stormed off never to return. 

            Nervously, this man waited for his wife to show up thinking of various scenarios that might be played out.  She came finally and saw his disfigured body on a hospital bed.  He was so severely burned his face didn’t have distinctive features.  What she could barely recognize as the remains of what used to be his lips she planted a kiss and told him how much she loved him.  At that moment, this man found will to live in midst of his deplorable condition.  Through dozens of surgery, he survived and recounted this story over and over as he went around giving his testimony.  His faith in God and his wife’s unconditional love helped him to get through the darkest moment in his life.  The other man whose wife threw the ring and left was devastated, lost will to live and died shortly after she left the room. 

            It is easy for one person to be overpowered by harsh realities of life but a united team of loving husband and caring wife can overcome toughest challenges life throws at them.  The value of a united front of husband and wife who stand together can be quite formidable.  Since marriage is the first institution God ordained, it holds a special place and warrants special blessing that can never be equaled by any other institutions or relationships.  Family is the most fundamental unit of community in our world.  When we have a family that exemplifies this cord of three, we can stand against anything in the world. 

            In our current time where families are strained due to tough economic times, we can be assured that the ones who will survive and eventually thrive are the ones that come together in times of hardship and stay together.  When a family disintegrates, everyone in that family becomes an individual without the protection and safety of a unit as a family and will suffer the consequences as a result.  Children suffer the most as they are now devoid of the safety barrier that shielded them from the insidious attacks of the world.  Without the father and mother who provided that protection, they are now helpless and are that much more vulnerable to the ill winds of the cold world.  Even in the wild, young are helpless and vulnerable to the predators without the safety of parents who protect them. 

            Children from broken marriages pay the hefty price throughout their lives.  It is unwanted gift that keeps on giving even to the following generation.  As we look at our own society, it is no coincidence that we are reaping the results of weakened institution of family over the last few decades.  As Christians, we want to extol the value of spiritually and emotionally healthy family and the sacred institution of marriage that was ordained by God.  May God bless our family and our marriage!